The Curse of the Samurai
Attention all. Last week there were two Samurai Warriors at the CBC softball game who decided to put a curse on our team. Apparently, when they learned how awesome we played in Week 1 they maliciously took it upon themselves to cook up an atrocious curse that would effectively jinx every single player on our team by inducing walks, errors, missed balls, and every other conceivable softball miscue known to man; resulting in us losing. Something that is against our very nature.
Below is a picture that was captured by Hollie's digital camera showing these evil fiends at their trade. If you see them, beware, and stay away. Let Joe Vanzant handle them. He has experience dealing with riff-raff such as this, and he assures me that this Thursday night, the curse of the Samurai will be lifted and they will not be present at any more of our games. He guarantees victory this week. SO, tell all of your friends and family that it is safe to return to Fountain Bluff, For the Curse Has Been Lifted.
BTW, there will be no YOUTH GROUP this WEDNESDAY NIGHT May 31, 2006. Please pass along the word. Oh and Jayce, it hasnt been a month since the last post. Only 22 days. Sorry for the long wait.
4 comments:
When Jayce's Hair removal happens there needs to be pictures taken for documentation.
Thanks Staff
Zach-been wall jumping lately?
As a matter of fact... i was so upset with our loss last thursday that I went wall jumpin after the game to relieve my stress. the bad news... my distress caused me to missread my dismount, and i broke my coccyx, somewhat of the same sort as grandma did at the dunes.
Jayce's dome is severely shoven. Pictures can be viewed through jay's camera phone. WARNING: If you are deathly afraid of Super-Bowl cuts, I strongly recommend that you do NOT view these pictures. Although they are attractive, Its not worth risking your life.
I do believe I spotted these same Samurai Warriors in section 221 at Kauffman Stadium during a shot of "kiss cam" in last tuesday's buck night. Have the same warriors who have cursed the royals coincidently cursed the CBC softball team!? SHIVER ME TIMBERS! Even though the Mighty Joe "Grass is always greener when the cows spin circles in the pasture" VanZant can rid these evil do-ers, the one and only way we can assure that they never return is if a certain someone in the youth group admits that Angel Berroa is the worst player on the Royals this year, and does not deserve to even wear the uniform. It's our only hope.
Farewell.
I WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW I WAS LOOKING FOWARD TO CHURCH BECAUSE ME AND MOM HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ALOT AND I EVEN RAN AWAY!
Yeah i know, I will update it after we win tomorow night. Rhett you still on the DL? And Hollie, you are in luck. After the embarrassing loss last week, all the players decided that we needed a new general manager and were out looking for a new one. Problem is, our main candidate decided to join the royals and passed us down. so you are in luck, for now. We will give you a few more weeks to redeem yourself. I personally think the players will perform better knowing they are wanted. Perhaps $1000 signing bonuses? Or at least granola bars and juice boxes after each game. Just some suggestions, for the teams sake, and your job's.
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